Mistranslation Funnies

In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter. 
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists. 

In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time. 

Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop: Drive Sideways 

In a Tokyo hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. 

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions. 

On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it. 

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar. 

At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty. 

In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases. 

In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here. 

Hong-Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs. 

Bangkok dry cleaner: Drop your trousers here for best results. 

Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summer suit. Because is big rush, we will execute customers in strict rotation.